Life

Chris Kyle, PTSD, and You

American Sniper was an incredible movie. It was tremendously moving from beginning to end. And I have seen many movies like that before. Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, We Were Soldiers, etc… All of those bring a real awareness to his horrible thing we have here on earth called war.

But American Sniper was different. It brought something bigger to the table. An issue that most of us had no idea existed. I mean we may have heard of it, but we really didn’t know what it meant.

PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And this is a very real battle that is being fought right here in our own country. These soldiers are going overseas to protect the rights that we enjoy as Americans. They are having to see and execute things they would have never imagined. 

And then they are sent back home after their time is done. Like everything is supposed to go back to normal. 

Only it can’t. It will never be the same again. 

I didn’t understand this concept until recently. I hired a guy to come on my staff who was an Army Ranger. He fought multiple times in Iraq and Afghanistan. Some of his stories he shares with me are even to intense for me to hear. I go home and have nightmares. And I’m just the one hearing the story. I wasn’t there!

Rarely can he get through a story without tears coming to his eyes. I have been on the phone with him late into the night walking with him through some issues. 

 
The war ended for him physically in 2007… But the war mentally is still raging on! 

We saw this a little in the movie American Sniper. Chris Kyle came home and had a hard time adjusting back to normal life. He even dedicated his life to help guys get through this tough issue. And it ultimately cost him his life. 

While the movie brought a little light to the issue… It goes much deeper then that.

These guys who are true American heroes need our help. They need to know that they are loved and that they belong. 

 
Lets get together and give back to the heroes who have given so much for us!

Give here!

What’s Your Oscar Moment?

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It’s Monday a.m. The Monday after the Oscars. And I have to be honest… I watched the Oscars again pretending I knew most of the movies… But the truth is I didn’t.

I think the Oscars are only slightly more entertaining than the WNBA!

But it did get me thinking about your own “Oscar Moments!”

Moments when you had to act a certain way. Or pretend to be something you’re not.

I have many!

One of my greatest works: I had been telling my parents I was spending the weekend at a friends house down the street. We were all close so it really never raised any suspicions. The truth was, we were spending nearly every weekend down in Panama City Beach, Florida. 3 1/2 hours away from home. Just sleeping wherever we could. We would all come back just in time for church. We would see our parents and all was well. But I was always tired… all of the time.

I knew why… But my parents didn’t. And I sure wasn’t going to tell them. They wound up taking me to the doctor…They thought something was wrong with me. They put me on all kind of natural substances trying to boost my energy level.

I never let on.

It was truly a work of art! I just acted like I had no idea what was going on.

Oscar worthy!

I finally came clean to my parents years later.

Dad laughed.
Mom didn’t.

So… What is your “Oscar Moment?”

What did you have to do? Act like you loved a gift? Act like you liked a guy/girl to be a good “wingman?”

Do share!

God WILL give you more than you can Handle!

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Hard times are inevitable. Sooner or later we all find ourselves in tough situations. And life can dish out some pretty incredible things.

I learned a phrase at some point in life that was always supposed to help me. I’m not sure if I got it from home or Church or somewhere else. And I’m sure it’s a phrase you learned as well.

“God won’t give you more than you can handle!”

And that sounds awesome. It was something I would say to myself over and over when times got hard. I thought God sure must think a lot of me because of all the crap I’ve dealt with.

But I’ve learned something since then… That awesome phrase… It’s FALSE! It’s not even Scriptural!

God WILL give you more than your can handle.

That phrase we learned as kids is all about how strong you are and has nothing to do with how strong God is.

Tiff and I went through a crazy hard time period from 2007-2010 which include: being forced out of a job I loved, house fire and lost everything, loss of a baby, etc… It was hard. I was done.

But I kept telling myself “God won’t give me more then I could handle!” Yet I was at a breaking point.

I was praying early one morning and I remember saying to God… “I know you won’t give me more than I can handle…” But in that moment I felt God say back to me.., “Says who?”

It got real right then and there.

I felt God say…
Could David handle a Giant… Or did he need me?

Could Daniel defeat the Lions or did he need me?

Could Jesus have handled the pressure of crucifixion… Or did he need me?

It shook everything I thought I knew about God. It sent me on my own spiritual journey.

I came to the realization that God WILL allow things to be more than you can handle… But that’s when God is at his greatest!

If I am constantly trying to handle every situation that life throws at me like I have enough strength to get through…. Then what would I need God for!

This isn’t a strong man competition!

It’s in admitting that I am weak. That I can’t take anymore. That I’m at the end of my rope. That’s when God tends to take over.

Life is hard! God is greater!
I am weak! God is strong!

There will be moments when the weight is crushing. And in those moments… Who am I going to trust? God’s strength… Or my own?

I choose God!

If you’re going through a rough season…. You are not strong enough to get through. But God is! Lean into him during this season!

Put the Camera down!

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Our society is obsessed with capturing the moment. Myself included. So we walk around with our phones out ready to take a picture so we can put it up for all to see.

We go outside to ride bikes with our kids. We take pictures.

We go to the park and take pictures of our kids on swings.

We go to dinner and take pictures of the food we are eating.

There have been so many moments that we really missed because we were trying to capture them with a picture!

Pictures are great. They are fun to have to remember good times.

But don’t just be an observer of good times. Be a participant!

Put the camera down and just live life!

Life is an Adventure that simple can’t be captured.

10 Lessons I Have Learned in My First 2 Years as Lead Pastor!

This Sunday will be 2 years since I took over as the Lead Pastor of Glad Tidings Church. It has been an incredible journey of transitioning an older church into a new generation! There is a rich 80 year old history here that we indeed honor… But if the church wants to be around for another 80 years, a lot had to change. So the church did something they had never done before… Hired a 31 year old Pastor… Give him 500 people and said lets move forward… And that is indeed what we have done!

I have learned a lot of lessons the past few years… Some are good. Some I learned the hard way. There are many… But here are 10 you need to know if you are starting on this journey as well!

1. It doesn’t matter how talented to are… You can’t do it alone. 

You can’t spend all day long strategizing on how to move the church you lead forward… And thats not a bad thing. But are you  spending JUST AS LONG in prayer? You may be good at a lot of things, Communicating, Strategizing, Planning, etc… But you will never take the church to a place that you haven’t gone to yourself. You need God. HE is the one who makes his church grow! If you try it alone, it will certainly lead to burnout.

2. Your Spouse is the single greatest asset you have. 

I would not be in Ministry today if it weren’t for my wife. I would have quit a long time ago. It’s tough. But she has been by my side the entire time. Encouraging me. Supporting me. Laughing and Crying with me. And most importantly Praying for me. She knows more than anyone else the emotional turmoil I go through and silently spends time with God on my behalf. Thats huge! You must have that support system at home.

3. You’re going to feel like giving up… Don’t!

I have felt like throwing in the towel many times within the past two years. Wondering if people are even paying attention to what I am saying. Dealing with the same battles over and over. People trying to point out what they think is wrong with everything. It wears on you. You want to quit… But for every person that is hard to deal with… There is someone else who comes to the knowledge of Christ for the first time… And that makes it worth it.  When times are tough… Don’t quit. Look around. There is good everywhere!

4. Nothing is more important than the people you serve.

Nothing! They are the reason you are where you are. You have been given an assignment to lead people. And its hard to lead people who don’t know you! Get to know the people you serve. Take them to lunch. Hear their story. Take off your mask and allow people to know you. The real you. That is the very reason I started blogging. There is no way I will able to personally take everyone out in our congregation. But this is a platform for them to see me. Get to know me. And it has already made a huge difference in my relationships with others.

5. Don’t hire anyone who you wouldn’t want to spend time with on the weekend. No matter their talent level. 

You spend an insane amount of time at the church. Hosting events, setting up for big weekends, and not to mention the work week. If you don’t like the people you work with, it can be miserable. You need to find people that you gel with. And sometimes that means hiring someone a little less qualified. If they are teachable and likable… Grab them… They won’t be on the job market very long!

6. It’s not enough to be a great communicator… You must have business sense. 

You may be an incredible preacher, a loving pastor, and a great leader… But if you can’t read an Aging Report, Profit/Loss sheet, and run a proper Business Meeting… You are in trouble. And these aren’t the classes they teach you in seminary! You are expected to have a good idea of the way EVERYTHING is going in the organization. The buck stops with you. And yes… I have a Financial Admin. on staff, but I get reports every Wednesday so I am prepared to give an answer at any time.

7. People love the idea of change… until you change. 

People will stand with you as long as you don’t change the things that they want. The problem… People all want different things. So when you do change a schedule, or stop a program, or paint a room, its evidentable that someone is going to get mad. Yet you can’t let fear stop you from what you know needs to be done! I keep a quote in my office from Henry Ford… He said “If I would have asked everyone what they wanted… they would have said a faster horse!” He gave them a car. Something they didn’t even know existed. And that’s your job… To take people into a place they had no idea even existed.

8. You will be hurt by people who are hurting. Hold lightly to comments and forgive quickly. 

People will say mean things about you and your family. They will say hurtful things about your ministry and the way you lead. They will even make things up about you that are so far from the truth that is comical… But the fact is they ALL STING. No matter how you try to laugh them off… It hurts. And I had a hard time with this, and I am still working on it constantly.  The truth behind it all is they are hurt as well. Whether it’s by family, friends, job, or life circumstances… Their is something deeper going on within these people and it really has nothing to do with you. So I am on a journey to hold lightly to comments. Both good and bad! And to forgive quickly the hurt that I have experienced through the hurt of others!

9. You need a Mentor or 2 or 3. People who have been around longer and can keep you from making the same mistakes they did. 

This has been awesome for me. I find myself in the room with people that I never thought I would. A 2 time CNO of the U.S. Navy, A New York Times Best Selling Author, A guy who has successfully transitioned a church and is now sought out after all over the U.S. for help! I am truly blessed to be able to sit with these guys and learn so much about life and leadership. They have kept me from making many mistakes in this first 2 years. They have encouraged me to take risks. And they are quick to call me out on stupid things…  And for that I am grateful. You HAVE to have guys like this to walk with you.

10. You’ll never arrive! There will always be something to learn.

Leaders are learners. You will never fully arrive. The more you do… the more you realize you are clueless. You must be on a journey to grow. You just be willing to learn from anything and anyone. Keep your eyes open. There are lessons everywhere. 

This has been a wild 2 years. I am thankful for everyone I have met and all I have learned so far on this journey. But I realize now more than ever… I can’t do this alone… I desperately need God to walk with me. And I still have so much to learn.

What have you learned through leading others? I’d love to hear from you!

Why you are just like the SeaHawks!

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There was 30 seconds left in the game. It was second and goal from the one yard line. You have the NFL’s best running back behind you. What do you do?…

Of course everyone in the US knows in that moment you simply hand the ball off to your running back and you win the Super Bowl! That’s an easy call.

But that’s not what happened.

Pete Carroll made a decision to throw a quick slant pass. They had done that exact play several times this year and it worked. Yet this time there was a young Defensive Back who knew exactly what was going to happen. He had been studying his film. He jumps in front of the ball and intercepts it.

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Pete Carroll was in disbelief. Richard Sherman was in disbelief. And I’m pretty sure all of the known world was as well!

“That was stupid” we all yelled. “Why would you do that?!?!” It was only one yard!

But that fact is that Pete Carroll made a call that he thought was best for the team.

Hindsight shows different.

How many times have you made a decision that in the moment you thought was the right call, only to realize later that it was a disaster.

If you’re like me… It’s many. And those decisions are costly.

So in reality… Our lives can absolutely reflect what happened in last nights game.

The difference… You didn’t make your decision in from of the largest audience on the planet.

So we will all spend the day talking about what a great game it was, and what a dumb call that was, and how if we were the coach, we would have done it different. And that’s fun… But also keep in mind that we all make stupid decisions in life.

Give the same grace to people that you are always asking for yourself!