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At the end of every year I take the last two weeks and go through a process. I pull all of my journals off shelf and read through them all. Its a fun walk down memory lane, but it’s much more than that. It’s reminder after reminder of God’s faithfulness in my life. I am able to read through my prayers and see how God answered them. I am also able to see how I make such big deals out of things that in reality just aren’t. Im a big fan of journaling for this reason alone.

I also spend much time in prayer asking God for my ONE WORD for the upcoming year. I have found that if I try to focus on a long list of things to change, I typically fail. But if I can focus on just one word I can stay focused on the things that fit within that category.

This year my word is BECOMING!

I have spent my entire adult life serving people. Its my passion! Its what I was created to do. But in doing so, its really easy to lose yourself. You try your best to fit the expectations of people. And that expectation changes from person to person. By the end of the day you’ve had 17 cups of coffee with 17 different people who all need 17 different needs. And because I love them all so much… I try to give them all what they need. I go home wide awake from all the coffee. Can’t sleep because Im wired and stressing about how to meet everyones needs. And repeat the same process the next day.

I get months in to this and realize I have only been home to eat dinner with my girls once a week at best, haven’t had a date night in way to long, and completely stressed out of my mind. But I have convinced myself that it’s ok because Im doing it in the name of Christ. I love people. I want to serve them. So I try to be all they need me to be at the expense of myself.

Not anymore!

Not because I don’t love people or want to meet their needs. Thats what drives me…  It’s simply not sustainable. There is no way I can keep up that pace. If I try, it will come with a price. I simply can’t keep sacrificing my family or my health for the sake of meeting needs. Now that doesn’t mean that Im no longer going to try and care for people. I always will. It does mean that I’m going to begin to take care of myself and my family first. I will then care for others out of the overflow of that.

In all of the serving I have come to the realization that I have lost me! And thats not good.

So this year I am in pursuit of becoming me. Not just Pastor me. I’m going to take time to do things I enjoy. Im going be home more during the week than not. I’m going to tuck my girls in bed at night. I’m going to take on less meetings and spend more time in the gym.

And this will be a process for me. It will require discipline because my instinct is not to focus on me but everyone else. But I want to be able to serve people for a long time. So its time to live a life that I can sustain.

My name is Brandon… And I am becoming me!

What about you? What’s your word? What are you working on?

I had the incredible opportunity to have lunch with Devon Franklin, Senior VP of Production, for Columbia Pictures. His story will blow you away. How a guy could still be so grounded in his faith, yet run one of the biggest movies production companies on the planet is beyond me. It was fun to hear about the making of Annie as well as his days as Will Smith’s assistant.

The lunch was full of amazing one liners. So I thought I would share them with you tonight…

-When you operate in fear, you aren’t your best self!

-Life happens to all of us. How do you stay focused?

-You must play the scene in your mind where you want to go.

-Leadership is all about being in seasons of un-comfortablility.

-WHy do you want to lead? You must know why.

-Always monitor the labels you put on people. They may not be a bad person, but in a bad season.

-Create an environment where gifts can be fostered.

-It’s not just the door opening, but how it opens. Can you be yourself?

-When you own who you are, the calling will operate with you. You don’t have to compromise.

-Let your work speak for you and bring the increase.

-Success is not an elevator. It’s a staircase. Take the steps. If you go to fast, you will not be prepared for the top.

-Model where the company is going by the way you dress and arrive.

-As the leader, morn losses, but have the courage to keep going. Moses and Joshua are a great illustration.

-Owning your identity is rare. Have the courage to be who you are.

-Faith isn’t an obstacle to your dreams, but the catalyst.

-The greater the challenge… the greater the victory!

It truly was on of the greatest lunches I have been a part of. Take some of these and think on them. Let them challenge you to keep going. To be yourself along the way. And make your faith the top priority of all.

August 28th 1963 on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave a speech that would echo through the halls of History for eternity. “I have a dream” is a speech we all hear early on in life. We are taught about the powers of dreaming big…that the possibilities are endless if we only dream. But I think we have put the wrong emphasis on the story of MLK… I have been awake for a few hours now and I have read the “I have a dream” speech four times already.

Dr. King had much more then a dream.

The had the nerve and audacity to try and make his dream a reality. He sacrificed and gave his life for his dream. He was on a mission to make this world a better place.

I’m sure many before Dr. King had the same dream. What they lacked was the courage to step out and make that dream a reality.

The same holds true with all of us today. We tell our kids to dream big, that they can be anything they want to be. Yet we never push them to action!

Our sons want to be pro baseball players… Yet they hate practice.

Our daughters want to be on Broadway… Yet they hate singing in front of people.

And instead of challenging them and teaching them the sacrifice that come with dreams….We just leave them there at the dream.

We celebrate Dr. King today, not because he had a dream of equality… But because he acted on it and gave himself to it.

We are truly better people because of Dr. King. Thanks for teaching us there’s more to just dreaming… There’s action.

There are those in life who live in a dream world. There are those in life who live in reality. Then there are those who try and turn one into the other.

Dr. King… We are forever grateful.

“Courage is an inner resolution to go forward despite obstacles;
Cowardice is submissive surrender to circumstances.
Courage breeds creativity; Cowardice represses fear and is mastered by it.
Cowardice asks the question, is it safe?
Expediency ask the question, is it politic?
Vanity asks the question, is it popular?

But conscience ask the question, is it right? And there comes a time when we must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right.”
-MLK

At the age of 14 I felt God calling me to be a Pastor. The only problem was… I didn’t want to be one. So for a few years I fought it as hard as I could. I went on the run. I really wanted nothing to do with God. I truly hated church. I mean, I was there every Sunday and Wednesday, but I didn’t want to go. I remember having the conversation with my father every Sunday.

“Do I HAVE to go to church?” I would yell.  “NO!” Dad would say… “You GET to go to church!” So I would go count the tiles on the ceiling every Sunday. 783 to be exact.

I would however always sign up to go on the Youth Trips. I loved to travel wherever I could and do things. On this particular trip to Gatlinburg TN little did I know that my life would begin the process of changing for good.

On Dec. 31st 1998 God became real to me. He was no longer just the God of my parents, but mine as well! That night in the Red Oak Lodge I gave my life over to Christ. I still however did NOT want anything to do with the ministry. I thought I could just go into civil service and that would do the trick. So I took a job out of College with the State of Georgia working in Therapeutic Foster Care. I was miserable. My passion was misplaced. I took care of many children, but I was never able to give them what they really needed. A huge… I was never allowed to pray with them about any situation. It was all business…

Sitting in my office one day I remember coming to a place of surrender. I knew what I was supposed to do with my life and it was time to stop running. I remember calling Tiff and telling her I was done running from my calling and it was time to step in to what God truly had for me.  She was elated! She knew it the entire time and stood by my side patiently while I tried to do everything but Pastor.

God truly has a plan for all of our lives. It’s his best for us. And he puts a passion inside of us that we can’t escape. We can try our best to run from it and even try to dance around it… But he really is constant pursuit of us and wants to use us for his glory.

Paul was very religious man. God had actually placed that inside of him. He knew the OT law like the back of his hand and held people to it. God created Paul for amazing things. But instead of embracing the person of Jesus… All he knew to do was uphold the law that was already in place. He actually persecuted those who did believe in Christ according to the law. It was misplaced passion.

Until one day on his way to Damascus, Paul had in encounter with God. One that would change him forever. One that left him blind for days. It was time for Paul to step in to what God had created him to do. And this guy who once was responsible for killing Christians… Now is responsible for writing 2/3rds of the New Testament. He only had to stop running and embrace God’s call!

So the question is…  What has God called you to do that you are running from? Starting a business? Starting a Bible Study with your neighbors?

What are you passionate about? What keeps you up at night? What do you have a burden for?

Chances are… Thats where you’ll find your God give purpose. And YES… it’s scary. And YES… it will cost you something. But not stepping in to what Gods best for us is will ultimately cost us much more.

Today is the day! Start now! It’s never to late to be who you might have been! YOU WERE BORN FOR THIS!

Stop running or you could potentially go blind!

I love that through this blog you guys are getting a deeper glimpse of my favorite person on the planet.  His inner thoughts.  His processes.  His passions.  And when he asked me to give you a peek into my heart, I was happy to share.  So here I am! 🙂

I love when God uses simple, every day moments to check our hearts…when he uses the familiar to get our attention.  I recently had one of those moments…

The other day Brandon, the girls and I were all having a relaxing evening at the house: Karsyn and Dylan playing upstairs and Brandon and I channel surfing on the couch.  Suddenly Dylan burst into the living room and declared that it was time to play!  Here’s how the conversation went…

“Are you ready to play with me?” Dylan asked, bursting with excitement and expectation.
“Well, what are we playing?,” Brandon asked with skepticism.  He was clearly remembering their recent hour spent playing “beauty shop.”
“Daddy, you can be the husband, Mommy, you can be the baby, and I want to be the life!” she exclaimed very proudly.
Brandon and I both looked at each other, trying to make sense of what she was saying.
“Dyl, what do you mean you want to be the life?” I asked, grasping for an actual explanation…which, if you know Dylan, is like asking for a unicorn.  But she continued…
“You know, like Daddy’s the husband, and I’m being you.”  After seeing my puzzled look, she continued, ”Mommy, Daddy’s the HUSBAND, and I am the LIFE!  Don’t you know what I mean?” she asked, clearly exasperated.
 
And then it dawned on me – she meant WIFE!!  And as cute as this may be, it was really a wake-up call on my position in my household and my family.  Although, for her, it was just a mix up of consonants,  it caused me to ask myself – am I truly the “life” in my house?

When my husband comes home after a long day at work, , do I provide “life” by greeting him with a smile and asking him how his day was?  How HE is?  Or do I provide “death” by nagging him with my “honey-do” list or complaining that he was gone way too long the minute he steps through the door?  He spends his life giving – of himself, his time, his talents –  to others.  Do I spend my time with him lifting him up and replenishing his tank?  Or do I become part of the burden?

When my sweet little girls want to have some mommy play time/talk time/ask 15 million questions time, am I willing to put all my “stuff” aside to spend a few minutes with them – providing “life” – or am I too quick to push them off, claiming to be too busy?  When really I’m just being too selfish?

Because whether I realize it or not, it’s in these moments I am either building up my husband or inadvertently tearing him down.  It’s in these moments I am teaching my girls how to expect me to respond to them…will that response encourage them to come to me?  Because even though today it’s about sidewalk chalk requests and just ONE more snack, before I know it it will be about much greater issues that I will desperately want to have the opportunity to speak life into.

Now believe me, this is not one of those “you never do enough, feel guilty, be selfless, blah blah blah” talks.  Nobody needs or benefits from another one of those.  This is simply an opportunity to take a step back and assess whether or not we are giving our families our best.  Whether we are taking advantage of the huge opportunity to build confidence.  To encourage.  To give life.

Jan. 8th 2014… I started out the day at home in the bed sick. I remember feeling horrible and thought a day in bed may be the best remedy. Little did I know it would be the first day of a 16 day nightmare.

It’s been one year now and for the first time I am somewhat ready to let you into my world. I haven’t said much to anyone up to this point in large because I have been trying to process this event myself. Working through the questions I have as well as trying to be the best friend/Pastor I could be in the process. The truth… I was angry at God. Why? How could this happen? God, where are you?

As I was laying in the bed on the morning of the 8th my phone rang. Not unusual… It always does. I ignored it. It rang again and again, back to back. The guy who was calling was a close friend and he never does this, so I answered.

The first words out of his mouth were “There has been a accident!” I sat up with a quickness and felt my heart begin to pound. He said “a helicopter has crashed into the Atlantic and it is believed that one of our very best friends was on the helicopter!” We hung up the phone and immediately began to try to find out as much information as possible. We were told that all the guys but one had been recovered and were on their way to the hospital. So we rushed to the hospital. We meet our friends wife in the lobby of the emergency room hoping and praying that he was there and all was going to be ok. Two hours later we found out that our dear friend… Lt. Sean C. Snyder was the one missing. We hoped with everything in us that he would be there at the hospital, but I think deep down in our hearts, we all knew he was the one they hadn’t found yet. If anyone was going to give up his life to save others… It was Sean.

I first met Sean on a Youth trip to Baltimore. His wife Amy and kids Christopher, Brady, Ethan, and Kayla had been coming to the church for some time while he was away on deployment. He had just got back in to town and wanted to spend time with his boys so he came along on the trip. It didn’t take long to figure Sean out. You always knew what he was thinking because he always said it. And at first I thought to myself… Here we go again… Another know it all. I’ve worked with these people before on trips and it’s no fun.

Sean was different. While he would give you his opinion, he was also ready to follow out whatever order you gave. By the end of the week I really liked him. I remember telling Tiffany that I thought I could be friends with Sean. And we did. Close friends. Spending nearly every weekend with Sean and Scott Higgins watching football, on the beach, vacations to the Outer Banks, etc. Just living life together. Sean even became an Elder at the Church I pastor, leading the way in several projects.

Sean was always one of the first guys in my office to check on me on Sundays. He also was the one who would be sending me messages to my iPad while I was trying to preach… of course telling me what to do! And he told me time and time again… “I know things are tough. I don’t know what you’re going through. But just know… I have your back!” And I knew he meant it.

I had learned so much from Sean up until this point. He was an incredible husband and a even better father. He was always there for his family. Taking his wife to NYC although he hated the crowds. Bouncing back an forth between all his kids events. Pushing his kids to always be their best. And teaching them all the power of commitment.It was inspiring. It made me want to be a better Husband and father. Sean made everyone around him better.

And now… In a moment… this guy that I have come to love was MIA.

The hours felt like days. The days felt like years. Sean was finally found and brought back home a week later. He was gone. I was angry. Yet I had to remain strong. After all, “Im the Pastor” I thought.I can’t break down now. I needed to be there for this family I so dearly loved. And I truly believe God gives us the grace to get through moments like that.

I found myself days later conducting a funeral for one of my friends. As I was doing the funeral I just remember that I couldn’t look down at the casket. I really felt like I was on autopilot. I couldn’t think about who that was or what was really going on.

When the event was all over, so was January. It was a blur. And now the real work kicked it. The emotions that Amy and the kids were feeling, I couldn’t imagine. To this day… They are the strongest family I know. The way they handled the events, taking things day by day, birthday by birthday, holiday by holiday, has been amazing to watch. And we have tried our best as their friends to just surround and support them in any way they needed us to. We love Amy and her kids so much. They have always felt like our own.

Months went by and things began to quite down. I have helped deal with many issues. All except my own. I was afraid to dive in to what exactly I was feeling. How could I… A Pastor… be angry with God? How could God let this happen? And that’s the journey I’ve been on.

We as humans want to understand everything. We want to put things into nice,neat categories so we can feel better about things. The truth of the matter is we can’t. If we could… Why would we need God? So in order to correctly deal with this event I had to create a new category…

The “I don’t know” category!

There are events in life that happen, and no matter how hard we try, we won’t be able to figure them out. And because we can’t… we become angry, bitter people. We have no where to put that event. By creating the “I don’t Know” category I have completely taken this out of my hands. I no longer have to try and understand it. And that OK! That’s what make God, God… and me not! I don’t dwell on these events any longer. I will not allow them to make me angry, or bitter.

I don’t know why Sean is gone. I never will.

As I type this out, with tears streaming down my face, all I can say is:
I dont understand.
I do trust God.
And I so desperately miss my friend!

One year later… after being asked a lot by people how I am doing with all this. For the first time I am able to answer…

It is well with my soul!

I love you and miss you my friend!

#alwaysrememberscs

I started back to the gym today in an effort to regain control of my schedule and not letting it control me. For far to long I have gone from meeting to meeting, grabbing whatever I could in between them to eat (normally fast food), and going to bed really late. I’m tired of that. It’s time to change.

As I was working out today, looking around at all the rip dudes in a very heterosexual way, it made me feel a little out of place. Watching them lift mega-weight and flexing their muscles in the mirrors… I’m like “it’s ok guys, I’ll just do the treadmill with the ladies.”

As I was walking it out today feeling a little out of place I began to think about the way people go into church for the first time and feel like others are looking at them like they dont belong. How many times have people come into church feeling beat down by life and their I am flexing my spirtual biceps in the mirror.

The fact is I will never change my body if I first dont change my outlook. I have to be honest with myself. I am not in shape, and I won’t be unless I began working out and change eating habits. I can’t be expect to walk into a gym and just magically be in shape. It takes hard work and time. I have to be willing to do it no matter who is in that place.

Now, on the flip side, you CAN walk into a church and instantly be transformed. You just have to be willing to do it no matter who is in that place. You’re not expected to have it all together before you go in. And understand that the people who are in there flexing, have weaknesses too. They may just be hiding them well. There is one guys at my gym that has shoulders like a horse and legs like a little girl!

It is our job as Christians to help others when they are down, not make them feel out of place. I try my best now to get those around me to the gym. I need to try just as hard at bringing them to a place where they can be instantly changed. It’s time we all make that step. Go to people who may be broken inside and not look down on them, or judge them, or try to fix them, but take them to someone who can.

The goal… To be in a better place come this time next year.

What are you working on in 2015?

I heard someone talk about running a marathon and all the training that takes place to perform the grueling 26 mile race. They recommend to begin training at least 3 to 4 months ahead and often runners start a year or two in advance. They say the most valuable training needed is mental determination and commitment to finish. Out of over 5,000 people in a NY marathon, only 680 finished! There is something that happens at the 20-mile mark that every runner experiences, “the wall”. It’s a total mental and physical meltdown, everything in their body tells them they cannot go on. Many runners experience it and prepare in advance to over compensate for that meltdown moment – placing supporters, cheerleaders, and water rejuvenation breaks along the way. One guy said he had a coach run along side him that mile to chatter about jokes and stories to get his mind off the pain and the discouragement. This season in my life has been the 20-mile mark in my marathon of life. But thanks to the supporters and cheerleaders, and of course the rejuvenating Water and most incredible Coach, we are now approaching mile 21 and going strong.

You see, God reminded me recently in my own 20-mile moment, that I am under his “shelter” and nothing can come against me or my family as long as I am in that place. Psalm 91:1 says “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” That secret place, the special place is where we will find our true rest, our true provision, our true security…in His shadow. So it’s under His shadow that I keep running, with confidence knowing that I will never go through a “20-mile mark” alone and that as long as I find rest in HIM, under His shadow, I will not only make it to the 21-mile mark, but I will finish the race.

P.S.  If you are at the 20 mile mark… Please know Im there cheering you on! Your are going to make it!