I am a control freak! There… I said it. Many of you who know me would say you already knew that. I have always been this way. I get an idea in my head of the way things should be… And I do everything in my power to make them go that way. My way! And when they don’t… I get angry or anxious.
I’m willing to bet many of you are the same. I’m mean who doesn’t like to be in control of their own lives. We’ve been taught that we can be anything we want to be if we just put our minds to it.
Trust is a major player in our lives. Who we trust. How we trust. And if we ever really trust anyone completely at all. We’re afraid of getting burned. I mean… People will fail us. We all know that. So then we really never fully trust them. And in order to protect ourselves from hurt… We trust… But as Ronald Reagan put it… We verify.
The problem: We’ve carried this concept of trust over to our relationship with God!
If I ask most people today if you know God loves you… They would answer yes. But if I asked people if they fully trusted God with every aspect of their life… Well that’s a different answer.
I mean to an extent we trust God. As long as it seems safe and doesn’t cost me anything. But what sort of trust is that?
I’m reminded of the story in Matthew 14 where The disciples are on a boat crossing a lake and they see Jesus walking on the water coming towards them. Peter crys out… “If that’s really you… Tell me to come to you!” So Jesus does just that. And Peter has a choice to make… Get out of the boat where it’s safe… Or step out on the water where it’s risky.
I can imagine Peter putting one foot out on the water to test and see how it feels. Sort of like toe dipping in a pool. That first foot requires no faith whatsoever. Why? Because all of his weight is still on his back foot! It isn’t until he decides to come off his back foot and go all in that real trust comes in to play!
If I’m honest… I live most of my life with my first foot in the water… Giving the appearance of faith. But in reality… All of my weight is still on my back foot. Because I really trust myself more then God. I’m afraid to fully trust. What if I fail? What if my business doesn’t take off? What if I end up in divorce like the rest of my family? What if I sink?
We allow fear to take over and truly keep us from Gods best for our lives. We know we heard the call of Jesus to come… But we can’t seem to trust his voice over our own.
We are 2 weeks away from our Neighborhood Pool opening. My girls are pumped. But I know exactly what will take place the first day. My girls will want to start out by jumping to me in the deep end. My 9 year old will be hesitate. She is every year. I have to reassure her I will catch her and not let her drown. And I’ll have to do this for about 15 minutes. Tears will be shed. Anger will arise. But eventually she will jump… But not really to me. She will jump as close to the edge as possible… Turn in the air… And grab the side of the pool.
Now my 4 year old is different. She will jump without me even looking at her. She has more faith in me… Then I do in myself I think. But she jumps knowing I will catch her. She knows I love her to much to let anything happen to her. So she jumps!
So the question is this: Who do you trust in? Yourself or God? Is your weight on your front foot or back foot? Do you jump knowing Daddy will catch you or are you hanging by the edge of the pool unsure?
Whatever situation you find yourself in today… Trust God. He loves you to much to let you drown!
God forgive me for trusting myself more then you!