The wind was calm. The sky was a deep blue without a single cloud. The water was crystal clear. And I couldn’t wait to explore Montego Bay, Jamaica! Tiff and I were the very first people off the boat. We only had around 8 hours to see as much as we could and we intended to use every ounce of that time.
We had prearranged a driver, Dwight, to pick us up from the port at 9am… And he was there waiting with that big Jamaican grin. “Welcome Mon!” were the first words out of Dwight’s mouth as we greeted him. He escorted us away from all the other drivers down the street to his van where we jumped in excited to see all Jamaica had to offer.
I immediately told him we wanted to see everything we could and also have time to lay on the beach for a while. “No problem Mon” he shouted. As he drove down the highway from Falmouth to Montego Bay… he gave us a brief history of Jamaica, showed us the house of a witch, and passed by the place we would eat lunch later that day. Scotchies! The best jerk chicken I’ve ever had in my life!
Dwight took us to the top of a mountain that overlooked the slums of Jamaica on one side and the most beautiful view of Montego Bay on the other! Hard to imagine these two were so close.On top of the mountain sat a little Inn called Richmond Hill. It’s owned by a little older lady who charges you $2 to see the bay view from her Inn. Well worth the money though.
We left the mountain heading to the beach when Dwight looked at us and said “Ok… you’re about to get out on the beach. Many people will offer marijuana. Smoke. Don’t smoke. I don’t care.” We told him we didn’t smoke and had no intention on buying anything. He laughed and said “well just tell them no and walk away!”
HE WAS RIGHT! We got asked… a lot! Which is not a surprise… We are in the land of Bob Marley after all and it’s perfectly legal there.
I had no problem telling the people no and walking away… I never do. That was until I needed to go to the bathroom by the beach. I walked into a public bathroom situated right across from the beach. I approach the urinal and begin doing my business. All of a sudden I had a guy standing right beside me whispering in my ear… “Hey Mon, You wanna smoke?”
I was trapped. I had no where to go! I had to finish peeing. I couldn’t stop mid-stream! It stings! I turn my head and he is literally 3 inches from my faces. “No”… I said! “I wanna pee!” He said ok and was gone… In a flash! I finish doing my business and turn around expecting to at least see him waiting there. He was nowhere to be found.
Like a little marijuana fairy… zipped in and out without a trace!
I learned a valuable lesson in that moment. Never use a urinal in Jamaica! The people who want to sell you things have no boundaries. And if you’re caught with your pants down… They’ve got you right where they want you!
All in all… Jamaica was an incredible country with the friendliest people on the planet. I can’t wait to go back. But from now on… Urinals are off limits!